A question I get asked alot is simple one, but one that requires some in depth thinking to answer. "Why is it that it takes you so long to write a song?"
Mostly, it isn't that the song has taken me particularly long to write, in fact usually the song takes me an afternoon or sometimes less, but it is the enormous gap between songs that people misplace as the writing period. When I write, I am either in a very emotional state and I often complain to God, and he will respond simply by saying, write it down, or I have a sudden awareness that overcomes me like nothing else to write about a certain issue, usually for a specific person that God has placed on my heart, but those are the very easy ways to write, because of course the other alternative is that I am just not coping with something, that something is starting to infiltrate my emotions and I am really struggling to keep a lid on it or worse, struggling to keep the walls up that say to the world "I am ok!". Those songs hurt, because I have to admit that I am not ok, or that something is hurting me, but what I don't realise is that its only for that little period of time, and once I have let that out, I can move on. Its those songs that come from the deepest part of me, the place I was at at the time that God is calling me to use, because there are people out there that also struggle with the things I did or still do, and may connect with the words God put on my heart to help me through. God is calling me to make a difference through my music. I was scared but he is showing me that this is what he wants and he rewards faithfulness, day after day he is constantly showing me that he rewards faithfulness to his servants!
Last week I received a painting from a friend, that depicted a story, an emotional place, but also I see the painting as part of my journey through year 12, it was tough, but it got easier because you push through those type of things, but when my friend told me she was going to give me the painting I was speechless, I had previously seen the painting before it was finished, and I loved when I saw it, but the one thing I did say to my friend was that I loved the fact that it came from the deepest part of her and the emotional place she was at when she painted it. I saw the value in that, and I felt the value in that. God is showing me, day after day.
I don't want to hide my songs anymore, because what if one of them is meant for you? I am excited about the journey I am about to take, but I am also scared witless! I know that I have an amazing support network around me, and day after day its growing and that is so encouraging, little things are starting to change for me already, since starting this blog my friends who are aware of my plans that were never before, its helping to keep me accountable and helping to me to adjust to the change! I hope and pray I can be an encouragement to you and a witness for God. God is moving in mighty ways, people!
Grace and Peace everyone!
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